Madman's Obsession
| Posted in Fiction, mad, Obsession, Polaroid, short story | Posted on 5:38 PM
Obsession is a funny thing.
You don't realize when you've got one - and when you do, you want it to end.
It results in a lot of things. The worst, is knowing that you don't want what you're obsessed with.
It creates a division within. You split into two - one that wants; one that doesn't.
It's like you're a paradox in yourself. Half of you is going to want it, the other half will argue.
The innocent, naïve part of you is going to die of need. The conscious, realistic part of you is going to be happy for lack of possession.
And then, it's all of this coaxing and rejecting inside of you that you can't bear anymore. You want it to end. No more madness...
But in doing so, you'll have to choose. Whose side will you be on? The realist or the dreamer? You... or you?
And as I sit here with the last picture in my hand, I don't debate what to do. I've been through this before. I want it... No, I don't... But I do...
I take out the lighter and set it on fire.
This was the last one; I burnt all the others.
I feel the flames feeding on the old polaroid. The memories, the feelings, the confusion... it's all fading away into oblivion. Just like the picture...
It's not completely burnt yet. I can make out a few things. I shake it hard to put out the fire. Then, I throw it on the ground.
Why?
The half that wanted is now no more.
And the half that doesn't, will not mind a half burnt picture.
You don't realize when you've got one - and when you do, you want it to end.
It results in a lot of things. The worst, is knowing that you don't want what you're obsessed with.
It creates a division within. You split into two - one that wants; one that doesn't.
It's like you're a paradox in yourself. Half of you is going to want it, the other half will argue.
The innocent, naïve part of you is going to die of need. The conscious, realistic part of you is going to be happy for lack of possession.
And then, it's all of this coaxing and rejecting inside of you that you can't bear anymore. You want it to end. No more madness...
But in doing so, you'll have to choose. Whose side will you be on? The realist or the dreamer? You... or you?
And as I sit here with the last picture in my hand, I don't debate what to do. I've been through this before. I want it... No, I don't... But I do...
I take out the lighter and set it on fire.
This was the last one; I burnt all the others.
I feel the flames feeding on the old polaroid. The memories, the feelings, the confusion... it's all fading away into oblivion. Just like the picture...
It's not completely burnt yet. I can make out a few things. I shake it hard to put out the fire. Then, I throw it on the ground.
Why?
The half that wanted is now no more.
And the half that doesn't, will not mind a half burnt picture.
Obsession is a funny thing...
Comments (0)
Post a Comment